@ROSE INGLEWOOD
@DATA TYPE: RETROSPECTIVE
@LANGUAGE: ENGLISH
@COUNTRY: FRANCE
@PARTICIPANTS: S 
@SETTING: PRIVATE
@TIME: LATE
@SCHOOL: SECONDARY

Since ending my logbook, I feel that my confidence increased.  This was probably because my French improved and also because I became more established within the schools - I didn't feel obliged to try to be friends with everyone as I had already made a few good friends.  In particular, the two ladies who I lived with (a PE teacher and a French teacher) had become very good friends, despite the age-gap between us.  These two ladies were able to fulfil, to a certain extent, the role of a responsable because of the genuine friendship and care for each other that we had; indeed, without these two ladies my time in France would have been much less enjoyable.  I think this always happens when you are new in a place; after a while you relax more and are no longer "the new girl".  Furthermore, the contract is so short that by the time you have established yourself, the end is in sight and it's really not worth making more new friendships because you'll be leaving soon anyway!

Reflecting on live recording

I think that this was quite an accurate impression of myself although I probably ought to have insisted a bit more on getting a proper timetable.  Having said that, at the time it seemed very important but looking back it wasn't really a big deal.  At the time, I wasn't at all happy with the outcome of the interchange but now I don't feel that it was a big problem.  My tmoignage is accurate of how I felt about what had happened during the interaction but if I was to be in the same situation again I don't think I would be so bothered about not achieving much.  What I do find interesting when I re-read it is how positive I was about <school name1> in comparison to <school name2>; by February my feelings had completely changed and I would quite happily have stopped going to <school name1>.  

Reflecting on relationship with responsable

Interestingly, my friendship with Florence really developed after the Christmas holiday (when I finished my logbook).  I actually socialised rather a lot with her and we managed to have, on the one hand, a very real friendship but on the other it was sort of fake because there were certain things (ie men!) that we never discussed.  Florence was the one who organised my birthday celebrations; it was my 21st and the approach to this was one of the biggest cultural differences between the French and British that I discovered.  I received a few presents from friends, family etc as well as about 20 cards and the French people could not believe this; they said that they would only ever receive 2 or 3 cards and a few presents.  

Thanks to Florence's understanding of the British approach I went out for a meal and had a party; this is probably the best evidence of the close friendship that we eventually formed because I was not expecting any sort of acknowledgement of the day.  Furthermore, when I left France, Florence organised, along with the ladies I lived with, a party with the other teachers and numerous presents.  This too was completely unexpected and demonstrates how different our relationship had become.  However I have to say that the only time since January that we discussed men in any way, shape or form was when I said goodbye to her and she said she wished me luck for my forthcoming marriage etc and she commented on how different our lives are.  She did then say that she was seeing "him" (ie the man she was having an affair with) that night, which somewhat surprised me as I had assumed that the relationship was over.  I didn't really respond to this and, looking back on this, I realise that during my stay in Mayenne it wasn't just me who consciously avoided talking about men with Florence but that she too must have deliberately avoided the subject.  I imagine that she must have sensed my unease about it.  

I don't feel that the difficulties I had with her are due to cultural differences or the organisation of the assistantship programme but instead are due to the fact that we just have different personalities and different approaches to life - the same issues could easily happen between two British ladies.  When I left France, I was genuinely sorry to say goodbye to Florence and I think we will stay in touch.  

The line "The relationship I have with her (Florence) isn't as genuine as the one I have with Ccile" is really funny to re-read.  When I first met Ccile, I thought that she was going to become a really good friend.  In November, she took me and two of my American friends out for the day and we had a really good time.  Ccile said how much she had enjoyed herself and how we must do it again and I was very disappointed when we never did anything.  Since finishing my logbook, I hardly saw Cecile and she didn't seem very interested in my work at <school name1>.  I used to dread going to <school name1>, not because of the pupils but because the break times and lunchtimes were so long there.  After Christmas, my timetable changed so that I spent Thursday lunchtime at <school name1>.  I used to try to eat lunch with the other teachers but I hardly ever spoke to them.  I understand that they were busy but I managed to make friends with many teachers at <school name 2> who were equally as busy.  In fairness, this wasn't all Ccile's fault but I felt that she ought to have paid more attention to me.  However I also realise that I had more friends at <school name 2> because I spent considerably more time there as that is where I lived.  In the end it wasn't a problem at <school name 1> because I went to my American friends' flat for lunch on Thursdays.  In the long term, I didn't develop a close friendship with any teachers at <school name1> and I feel this was due to personality and institutional factors.  They didn't mean to be unkind but the atmosphere at <school name1> was not nearly so friendly as at <school name2>.  Other teachers who worked at the two collges told me that this was because the management of the two collges was very different; at <school name2> the Head and Deputy Head (both male) were extremely friendly and took great care to talk, however briefly, to every member of staff.  However, at <school name1>, the Head and Deputy Head (both female) were not "people" people - instead, their strengths lay in paperwork / administration.  The best example of this is when my timetable was changed at <school name1>.  They wanted me to work the hour before lunch and the hour after lunch on one particular Monday.  I explained to the Deputy Head that this was a problem because I had a club at <school name2> during the lunch break.  She said that she would rather me come late to the lesson than not at all and asked how long it would take me to get between sites.  I replied 20 minutes.  Anyway, somewhat reluctantly I agreed to teach.  When I got back to <school name2> I happened to mention this to Florence.  She was outraged at how they were treating me and took me to see Monsieur Peneau - the Deputy Head.  He rang the other school and asked them to send a car to pick me up so that I could get between the sites in 5 minutes.  When I next saw the Deputy Head at <school name1>, she said she didn't realise that I didn't have car.  Quite why she thought it would take me 20 minutes to get between the 2 sites if I had had a car I will never know...However, when I left <school name1>, all 3 English teachers expressed regret that they hadn't done more with me.  I only hope that next year they think of this earlier in the year and do actually do something with the next assistant.  They also organised a party with all the sixime pupils for me and gave me presents.  Ironically, two of the presents were books about all the small villages and chteaux surrounding Mayenne that they "hoped I had managed to see".  Again, quite how they thought I would have seen them I don't know, as public transport in the area was so poor.  Despite this, they meant well and were sincere in their expressions of gratitude for what I had done.  I don't know why my relationship with them, and in particular with Ccile, failed to develop.  It is possible that Ccile stopped making an effort when the PIC project logbook ended but I don't feel that it really influenced our relationship that much.  I think the most likely reason is that after Christmas everyone became very caught up in their own lives and by the time they thought of me it was nearly time for me to leave and thus not worth starting a friendship.  

Reflecting on the assistantship experience

Preparation before departure

Buy a good teaching book - it's invaluable when all inspiration dries up and when a teacher asks you to prepare a lesson based on a specific grammar point.  I used Source Book for TEFL by Michael Lewis and Jimmie Hill (Macmillan Heinemann) as well as the British Council one.

(If you're in a collge) Take lots of magazines with you.  Use these to make quizzes (eg who is this?) and games, such as a matching-up game (stick celebrities on pieces of cards and get the children to write descriptions on more cards, they then turn them all over and have to match the picture with the correct description).

Buy card.  It's expensive in France and I used loads for making games etc.  If you turn everything into a game, your life is much easier.  With older pupils, I wrote lots of questions on cards (from What's your name? to Who is your favourite actor?) and read them out to the class.  The first person to answer in a complete, detailed sentence won the card.  I couldn't believe it but my most difficult, 16 year old, very "cool" boys became incredibly motivated.  

Beware of taking too much music with you for use in lessons.  You might get lucky but I had lots of complaints from other teachers for making too much noise.  

I have to say that before I went I read a lot of things that said it would be the best year of my life.  In all honesty, it wasn't and so I couldn't say that to future assistants.    So don't expect too much.  If you prepare for the worst, you can only have a better time than you expect.  If you go out there thinking everything will be fantastic, you're just setting yourself up for disappointment.  Having said that, it was a year that enhanced my life and it was a very worthwhile experience.  If nothing else, it makes me much more confident in England - after dealing with French banks, bureaucracy etc, dealing with English banks etc is incredibly easy by comparison - for starters, we speak the same language!

The allocation process

Ask for a big city so that you will have decent transport.  If you ask for a medium sized place, as I did, you may end up in a place with very limited transport which is very frustrating.  However, unlike every single American I met, do be aware that getting a place in the Acadmie of Nantes does not necessarily mean you will be in the city of Nantes.  I don't know if this is true, but the American system of becoming an assistant seems very poor in comparison to the British Council; they don't seem to receive much information at all and they certainly don't get given a book / access to the website like we do.

Establishing contact with the school

I just sent an email telling them when I would arrive and asking if they could help with accommodation.  My main school responded almost immediately and said they had a flat for me.  I replied asking what (e.g. bedding, kitchen equipment etc) I would need to bring and that was all I did.  I don't feel I would have gained much by making any more contact.  The email only reached my responsable at the other school in November...

Integrating into school life

My American friends tell me that my experience at <school name1> is like their 
experiences at their lyces but I feel that their attitudes were very 
different to mine.  They were very quick to criticise the French and I feel that this is why they didn't manage to make many friends.  Wherever you end up, if your attitude is negative, your experience will be negative too.  Yes, I was in a small, difficult to get to town.  Yes, the teachers weren't always friendly and yes, the pupils could be difficult.  Despite all this, I have many happy memories of my stay in France and I'm glad I spent the year there.  I'm sure my enjoyment is because I tried to stay positive and make the most of my stay by accepting all invitations and travelling a reasonable amount.  If, as my American friends did, you spend all your time moaning to the teachers about how much you hate where you are and you don't make any effort to explore places by yourself, I'm sure the teachers will quickly tire of you and thus your integration into school life just won't happen.  





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